The perfect relationship exists.  Your barista really gets you.  You can walk into your caffeine paradise and get exactly what you asked for all with a smile.  You leave wanting that same smile to greet you the next day.  After a few visits, you get what you want before you even ask for it.  How good is that?

The crux of a sustainable relationship is being able to find good in someone or something.  The desire for a positive result will urge you to work on your end of the relationship to keep it going.  For example, the new barista doesn’t seem to understand your order.  Perhaps they do not hear English very well, so you speak slower and use your hands to gesture a large coffee.  It is no problem to extend yourself to get the goodness you want – a hot cup of morning delight.  The real test lies outside of the coffee line.

Sustainable relationships resist the effects of time and daily challenges.  There is work involved ot protect the relationship from damage.  Honesty, openness, trust and transparency are essential by both parties for mutual respect.  Surprises and secrets aren’t harbored as they breed distrust.  It is up to each partner to recognize conflicts that are rooted in half-truths, misunderstandings or lack of communication.

Partners, in a good relationship resolve negative elements as soon as they arise.  They take their share of the responsibility and sometimes, change to overcome conflicts is recognized and honored.  Each partner may require different amounts of time, different strategies and different finish lines to complete the process.  This is where cooperation and regulating emotions comes together.  Essentially, we all want to be happy.  Sometimes it is together, sometimes it is apart.

My former wife and I are pretty good friends.  We work at it for our sake, our children and our health.  Although we are not married, we care about our family’s welfare and the environment we create for our children.  We raise our children the best we can and our goals are similar that they remain happy, loving, confident members of society.  Peaceful solutions always beat battling.  It is possible to make it work if you see the good to be had.  Find the good.